John Mayer is in hot water for a too-revealing interview in March’s Playboy magazine. The 32-year-old singer is being accused of making racist remarks (such as “My d— is sort of like a white supremacist. I’ve got a Benetton heart and f—–’ David Duke c—”), and he has taken to Twitter to apologize for using the “n” word in the interview. “I am sorry that I used the word,” he tweeted. ”And it’s such a shame that I did because the point I was trying to make was in the exact opposite spirit of the word itself. It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it, because I realize that there’s no intellectualizing a word that is so emotionally charged.”
His tweets continued: “And while I’m using today for looking at myself under harsh light, I think it’s time to stop trying to be so raw in interviews…It started as an attempt to not let the waves of criticism get to me, but it’s gotten out of hand and I’ve created somewhat of a monster. I wanted to be a blues guitar player. And a singer. And a songwriter. Not a shock jock. I don’t have the stomach for it. Again, because I don’t want anyone to think I’m equivocating: I should have never said the word and I will never say it again.”
Mayer may also have some explaining to do to certain famous ex-girlfriends. He describes Jessica Simpson as “sexual napalm” and suggests that one of the reasons it didn’t work out with Jennifer Aniston was the Internet. “One of the most significant differences between us was that I was Tweeting,” he tells Playboy. “She saw my involvement in technology as courting distraction.”
Anyone who says they could never be attracted to a person because of race is racist. I mean how can he know? He has not been attracted to a black women yet so he thinks that all black women are the same and unattractive to him? If it is the race that turns him off then yes he is racist. Anyone who writes off a whole RACE of people like that has a problem with race. A lot of guys have this sort of racism towards black women. It’s nothing new. But trying to say it’s “not really racism just a preference” is silly- It’s one of the main reason racism isn’t gone in this country yet– at a very deep level people like John Mayer don’t see black people as equals.
Hmm, I agree that Mayer’s comments were stupid and offensive, but I’m not sure in general it’s as cut and dry as you are saying. I think who you are attracted to is a lot to do with what is familiar – so people who grew up in a very mixed society are likely not to have race impact on who they are attracted to. People who didn’t will, perhaps, see someone of their own race as the most obvious choice of a partner. It’s certainly an argument for proper integration in society as the only way to make people truly colour blind, I’m not sure it makes someone a racist.
Yeah, but if you say “I would never date a ___.” or “I can’t be attracted to ___.” It’s different from saying “I’ve never tried that before, I don’t really know a lot of ____ people.” or something.
Yeah, as I say t-bird, Mayer acted like a complete d***
what do you think you’re doing, I thought I was the voice of reason on these things. Just joking, well said.
He’s been a bigot and a jerk for a while now, not surprised at all, shortpeopledate
Why is everyone talking about his racist remarks when they should be saying is a jerk in general. He was going to write a tell-all about Jennifer Aniston for $$$ I think she had to pay him to give it up. He is a creep and people should stop listening to his interviews.
I don’t know if having a racial preference constitutes racism. We all have preferences and yes, they sometimes are of race. But announcing to the world that you will never find any whole race of people attractive is just ignorant and flat out stupid. I agree with you that there is a lot of anti black women rhetoric out there and I am a black women. I think John Majer thinks he’s so much smarter than the rest of us so anything that he says is ok.
Agreed. It’s not racist, its prejudice and we all have certain prejudices. I think John Mayer should stop talking to people and just make music. Dude is an a**hole.
Hmmm. OR maybe he should stop talking to people AND stop making music. This strikes me as a win win situation.
As a black girl, I don’t think his comments are racist. I’m an AA, I have caucasian friends but I’m not into white guys; that doesn’t mean
I’m racist. Stop being hypocritical people.
But I would ask John to stop doing drugs (definitely he’s a pothead) and to stop talking about “sex with exes”. What an embarassement (especially for Jen)
I’m a black woman and I do find it offensive. And I have not really gone out with many white guys, mostly black guys, but I would not just say “I’ll never date a white guy”
Who knows– I’ll meet each person and treat them as an individual.
I didn’t say “I’ll never date a white guy” neither. They said “never say never” and “love comes from the inner”. I’m okay with that.
tbird, you need to lighten up. It’s not like he is Johnny Depp or Leo DiCaprio. He doesn’t worth it. He is just John Mayer, an average guy who became full of himself because he dated Rachel Greene.
I am not gay, but I am white. If I were gay I would not be attracted white guys (except for Shaun White and similarly tight gingers). Therefore, sexual predilection can be, though not necessarily indicative of, prodromes of racial exclusivity. An antinomian may avoid a Scientologist out of sheer habit, but that doesn’t mean pre-clears don’t shake down the Baptists whenever they get a pinner going.
Roger, I’m getting the faintest whiff of John Mayer brand crazy coming off you.
That was so nutty it left me feeling dizzy and lightheaded.
Oh, and Roger? You ARE gay. And that’s okay.
How am I gay for having thoughts of hand feeding Shaun White white-chocolate dipped strawberries after an awesome day on the slopes and a forty minute sauna? I just don’t get this.
Roger, you are awesome. I wish you a million tight gingers, in a non-sexual way of course.
Another non-sexual fantasy I have involves Randy Couture. I pick Randy up around 9 o’clock in my Ford Bronco. We get sashimi, split two bottles of Pinot Blanc, send the flan back, and tip twenty-five percent. Then we hit Teddy’s, pick up two hard bodies from Anaheim and bring them to the cheapest hotel we can find. The next morning Randy and I wake up late, go work out together and then have a good laugh about the whole situation before I drop him off back at his house.
I understand what you’re saying, but it’s a bit of a slippery slope. For instance, does that make a gay person sexist for saying they’d never date someone of the opposite sex? The same goes for people who aren’t attracted to people with green eyes or red hair. If he’s not attracted to black women, what’s the harm in saying so? With that said, I don’t think he could have expressed himself in a worse way. The n-word and his phrasing do have shades of racism. But being honest about his sex life wasn’t crossing the line, it was the words he used to do so.
Your analogy doesn’t really work. Black women are not as different from white women as men are from women– you know?
I don’t know how people are saying he’s not racist when he said so himself … a very small part of him is *just* like David Duke. This wasn’t like “oh… I don’t know never dated a black girl before…” or some mild thing. He’s not talking about what he has done– he’s talking about who he is– he’s the man with the racist … uh… member.
The difference is a gay person doesn’t have to sleep with a person of the opposite sex to find them attractive. I am gay as a 3-dollar bill, but there’s no denying that women are attractive! You don’t have to make your prejudice public and disparage an entire race!
Wakeforce, I believe that the expression is “queer as a 3 dollar bill” and “gayer than Christmas”
@ wakeforce – very well said!
I’m biracial, white and black, and I have only dated white guys. I’m not sure if I would date a black guy, but I’m not saying I’m not attracted to some of them. That shouldn’t make me a racist, according to some peoples’ comments on here.
As a black man, I don’t really don’t see the problem with him insinuating that he’s not attracted to black women. I don’t think it’s any more insulting than if he said he wasn’t attracted to tall women, or skinny women. Everyone has a type of physical attribute they are attracted to and skin color falls in that category. Now, as for his use of the N-word, whether you agree it’s taboo or not, it doesn’t offend African-Americans as much as it does other people who try to defend African-Americans. I don’t accept his apology because he shouldn’t have to give one. It’s a word that ignorant people use, but just a word nonetheless.
I appreciate your perspective.
Most of us don’t have any business even speculating on whether or not it’s *truly* offensive.
As a black woman I do see a big problem with anyone who says that a person race makes them unattractive. I mean black women, women of any race are very diverse– they can be tall or short think or thin light or dark… smart or silly… who knows. Race is much less specific that height. The essence of racism is prejudging a person based on their RACE. How can race tell you of a person is attractive?
I also don’t know why you are trying to tell me what offends african americans? I’m offended. It’s not like black people are going to have one universal view on this subject.
tbird – and I’m asking this with total seriousness and sincerity – are you sexually attracted all people of all races?
yeah! though why do you ask?
Sorry, tbird, I wholeheartedly disagree. If a person says they find a race specifically UNattractive then we can parse down their alleged racism. But if you have a ‘type’ which you find attractive, all other types are unattractive by comparison. You could say ‘not as attractive’ but then we’re just mincing words. People like what they like. No harm in it.
Just wondering – again, I DO appreciate others’ perspectives.
So therefore Spike Lee is a racist, by saying he dosen’t find white women attractive? I think people should be allowed to have their preferences, but keep them to themselves if they might offend people.
It’s a pretty dumb thing to say, but at least it’s a little subversive and goes against the very strong currents in out culture that tell black women they are less attractive than white women. So in that way saying “I only like black women!” is less offensive, but it’s still *stupid* to just write off all white women as unattractive becuase of their race.
I’m a white female and wouldn’t be offended if a black man said he wasn’t physically attracted to white women – not even a little bit.
I would, however, be offended if someone referred to my race using a word as inflammatory as the ‘n’ word.
Ambient Lite, there are not as many stereotypes out there about white women being unattractive so I think the “reverse” comment has less resonance and is less touchy. (Though in my book that still doesn’t make it right)
TBird, I kind of understand what you’re saying… it’s sort of like saying the N word vs. calling a white person a cracker. They’re both offensive, but the N word is more so because of the history behind it. Either way, it’s not nice. However, I don’t think that a lack of sexual attraction for members of a particular race makes one a racist…
One thing I want to add to that: tbird, in the full interview, John Mayer in NO way said that black women are unattractive. Quite the opposite, actually – he listed off several black women that he thinks are gorgeous and hot.
My main concern with the portion on dating black women was not his stated preference, even though, as a life policy, it is good to leave all options open, but that he seemed to take away black women’s agency. He was asked if black women threw themselves at him, and his response was that he doesn’t open himself up to it. Huh? It appears the answer is no. Maybe the black women he comes across don’t want to date him or are not attracted to him as well? It seem a hella arrogant to suggest he is more likely holding them at bay. I guess he thinks his “hood pass” makes him irresistible.
As a black woman, it doesn’t bother me that he is not escpecially attracted to women such as myself. I guess I would not date him, though race is not an issue, I am just not attracted to idiots, though apparently some famous women are.
In the interview he actually talks about black women he finds attractive. So I don’t think he’s saying he’s not attracted to them. I think he’s saying he’s never slept with any of them. But judging from his TMI tendencies, I think that’s probably a good thing for all black women.
Just because John Mayer is ethnocentric doesn’t mean he is racist. But he is a d**k!
The more he talks, the more of an idiot he seems. He needs to embrace the proverbial saying, “Silence is golden.” Just let your music do the talking, John!
well i am a 33 year old hispanic male, and I can tell you, I have never been attracted to black women. I am the furthest thing you can find from a racist, but I just don’t find black women attractive. So, I can see what he means. I know that it is not what some people want to hear, but he is just being honest.
I don’t think people care if he (or you) is attracted to black women. There are many people/groups, I have never been attracted to (Hispanic men, for example), it is his phrasing that is problematic. Also, he goes on to objectify and sexualize some famous black women. There is really no defense of that type of speech. I think we can all agree whether he is attracted to them or not, they are not less than human or less than any other woman in a different racial/ethnic category. It doesn’t even appear that black women are attracted to him so what was the point of the sentence?
Wait, you’re saying that if someone’s not sexually attracted to a person of a specific race that makes them racist? That would mean that all men who aren’t interested in sleeping with other men are homophobes.
tbird is right, folks. And why are we so afraid to call a statement racist? It doesn’t mean the guy’s evil, it just means he should think before he speaks, and then think about WHY he has those particular feelings. And as a white guy, I can tell you that it isn’t the same to make grand statements about white people as it is to make such statements about black people. There is a history of oppression of black folks at the hands of white folks that continues til today, and it’s pointless to dispute that and dangerous to assume that racism is dead. We still have a lot of work to do. Maybe we could start with opening up discussions around racist remarks like Mayer here has made.
It’s not “racist.” Saying that it is distracts from us understanding what racism really is and why it is important to address. Certainly his remarks reflect a personal prejudice and set of preferences – we all have those. All of us. The manner in which he expressed them was undoubtedly lacking in taste, no matter how much he tries to spin it into he was being too “intellectual” for all us goons out here.
Wow, an all-times low for this guy…I thought that his Rolling Stone interview was as low as a human being could go in terms of disgusting self-absorption…unfortunately, I was wrong…John Mayer has found new ways to poison his legacy and make his talent irrelevant…here’s hoping for a change…
No matter what you think of Jessica Simpson, no one -man or woman- deserves to have their sex life broadcasted. He’s owes her an apology. I’ve never liked him, and i dont have any respect for him.
I agree that John owes Jessica a big apology. He dumped her a long time ago and now he is bringing her name up and talking about their sex life to the media! Is this the only way for him to get attention?
During all that intellectualizing about his use of the N-word, I didn’t see any apologies to Jessica Simpson or Jennifer Anniston for being so disrespectful to them. I particularly rolled my eyes about his remarks regarding Jen’s non-use of Twitter — as if that makes her some kind of stodgy relic of the past. Maybe she just don’t feel the need to share her every passing thought with the rest of the world. Something John Mayer should look into! What an immature little twit he is.
Argh! “Doesn’t” feel the need!
Well, after all, he is a d-bag. No shortage of men like him out there. My greatest problem (besides flippant racist remarks) with this interview is the phrase “sexual napalm”. FTW??? “Waitin’ on the world to change…”
This guy is hysterically self-important. Sadly, he also uses racial slurs to self-aggrandize. I love seeing someone like this publicity man-hoar get what he deserves. He’s as bland as you can get (Really Grammy? Really? A best-song award for a song with the lyrics “fathers love daughters who’s mothers are daughters of fathers who’s brothers have daughters”….or whatever it is). I LOVE that he LOVES HIS C*** though. Use it John, use it!!!
Only a mixed up white dude comes up with: “It was arrogant of me to think I could intellectualize using it”. HA. God bless though. Learn to love one another. Hate kills.
I don’t think his choice of words was appropriate in any way – I mean, who uses the ‘n’ word anymore in any context?? – BUT, I think you also have to consider WHO is saying these things. John Mayer may very well be bat $hi!t crazy, but I just don’t think he’s racist. He’s pretty well regarded by his peers in the music and entertainment community – including black artists.
Side note, his comments about Jessica Simpson were HEEELARIOUS.
C’mon A-Lite, you can’t be drinking from Mayer’s Kool-Aid. He’s sub-human.
Well, I do enjoy a sip of that Kool-Aid from time to time…he used to be funny/charming and unfortunately it seems to be evolving into crazy/shocking
But I really don’t think he’s racist.
JM is definitely NOT racist as far as I can tell. I was at his show in Atlanta last night and he brought up this whole mess. He was truly saddened by his mistake and his almost entirely BLACK band and back-up singers were very receptive and loving. Now, there is a lot about him that is crazy and completely opposite of anything I believe, but in this situation I feel for him.
I agree with you, Ambient Lite. I’ve always had a soft spot for John Mayer because of his crazy antics on the Dave Chappelle Show and Rob Dyrdek’s Fantasy Factory. I don’t think he’s a racist, either. Just because you’re not sexually attracted to one particular race or another doesn’t mean that you hate all people of that race. He’s shockingly honest and that has come around to bite him in the butt. He should keep his crazy thoughts to himself… and I will continue to sip his Kool-Aid from time to time as well. By the way, I’d be insanely flattered if someone referred to me as “sexual napalm” but I don’t know that I’d appreciate the entire world knowing about it…
Yeah, his comments about Jessica Simpson (in context and in their entirety) were actually extremely flattering…never would have guessed she had such sexual prowess! I’d be surprised if she isn’t secretly loving every minute of it.
And I’m glad I’m not the only one who has trouble believing John Mayer is racist. Crazy? Yes. Hateful? Nah.
In all fairness, I think the majority of heat against him isn’t whether he is racist or not – but whether he was offensive and over the line. I dont’ think he’s racist, but definitely offensive.
I bet now that Jessica Simpson is single, she’ll be calling John Mayer up every once in a while… Don’t be surprised if you read about them leaving the Chateau Marmonte together, haha.
Who uses the N word? How about the black kids at my daughter’s high school? They use it every day in conversation with each other. They have actually discussed this issue in her sociology class, talking about how confusing it is for the white kids to be told they cannot say it because, “It’s always derogatory”, while the black kids are throwing the word around like confetti.
Really? You are playing he poor white me card! Why can’t white people say the N word? I cannot say the f word even though a lot of my gay friends throw it around casually. You know what? I have no desire to say it, so it doesn’t bother me. Why is it so critically important for your daughter to say the word? That some black students in her school ‘throw around the word’ doesn’t mean everyone else does.
Jamie — I think Maie brings up a valid point — it’s confusing for kids to teach them the right thing about offensive words. Why aren’t African American kids being taught that the n word is offensive as well? I’m white and it’s offensive to ME — it’s not only offensive to African Americans. I’ve also known several cases of this being very confusing to foreigners, who did not grow up here (and are white and from a country that does not have a history of slavery), they hear the music and hear African Americans say the n word, but when they (the foreigner) says it then they are villianized. How were they to know it was offensive when it’s being thrown around so casually by the very people it’s supposed to be offensive to? I think keeping it separate who can say it and who cannot without being offensive just further divides us racially and perpetuates the cultural divide in this country.
Confusing: you are certain all African American kids are not being taught the words are offensive? Did you poll all of the ~40 million African Americans or black people living in the US? That you can make that assertion reveals so much about your thinking. People that have a darker skin tone are still people. If you believe that you’ll give them their individuality.
Jamie — I absolutely did not intend to imply that ALL African American kids are being taught that it’s okay or not offensive for them to use the n word — I was referring back to the kids Maie commented on in her daughter’s schools as well as many others that have been taught it’s okay by African American celebrities and role models that have made that assertion. I’m arguing against the argument that it should be considered offensive or not offensive based upon the color of skin of the person saying it. I understand I don’t run the world, but I would prefer that if a word is offensive that it be taught that way to all children, not differently to children of different races. I’m white, my young children are as well, and I will teach them that the n word is inappropriate and offensive, I will teach them why, in doing so I will have to teach them our country’s unfortunate history, just as I did when teaching them the importance of MLK Jr day. When I do this, I will explain to them how it’s offensive to all of us as Americans — not just African Americans, really as people period, because it conjurs up the oppressiveness of not just slavery, but the continued oppression that came after it in this country and still exists today.
@Mai and @confusing I’m AA and I agree with you that the word is awful and should just not be used by anyone.
But having said that, CONTEXT is everything.
I’ll give you a few examples:
If a man slaps another man’s behind during a game, it’s comraderie, if a man slaps a woman’s behind during a game, it’s harassment.
Just like a woman calling another woman the b-word is different than a man calling a woman the same word.
It has to do with the power dynamic. Although in each individual case the power dynamic is different, I think we can generally agree that men hold more power than women, and whites hold more power than blacks in this society. Although that is improving, this is still a dynamic that is in effect.
So, it is good that these children, white and black are learning and talking about this in their sociology class. Because our entire culture is filled with situations where if one person says it its fine, if another does, it’s construed differently. They need the tools to be able to navigate these situations if they ever want to be successful.
levelheaded — I understand what you’re saying and I appreciate your laying it out in an understandable, non-confrontational manner. If in the future my kids hear any other person/kid using the n word and ask me about it, I’ll just tell them that they are either ignoring what adults have tried to teach them that the word is offensive or that maybe they have unfortunately not been taught that it’s offensive. Whatever the case, I will not teach my children that it’s okay for people of one race to say it or not — that’s what I mean by confusing, for children or non-Americans especially, it seems to me it just continues to create a divide that so many are trying to close.
@confusing, I completely agree wit you. I know my kids aren’t really old enough to experience peer pressuse to be ‘black enough’, but my nephew is. And even though our family has taught him not to use that word, I am sure he probably has with some of his friends, to fit in and be cool. But I agree that the word just causes a divide. *sigh*
For a deebag that likes to portray himself as an intellectual, he comes off dumber than Sarah Palin.
Who the hell is John Mayer?
A guys who is like a 6 but gets ladies who are like 9-10. And he plays guitar and makes dumb statements. All. The. Time.
Oh, and he is a total doosh.
A 6??? More like a 2.
Melvin what exactly is a doosh?
He is the man who is “waiting on the world to change”!
lol!!!
Like someone mentioned on Twitter, it’s unfortunate that there are no rehabs for a*sholes. Mayer could definitely have used one if they existed. What an idiot. He needs to apologize to Kerry Washington too.
I was considering letting it slide until he said his d**k was like David Duke. Uhh, that guy used to run the KKK. Yeah, John this is gonna be a problem. Not to mention the fact that he chronically overshares. Sometimes, just every once in a while, it’s not necessary to share your EVERY thought with us, moron. Thanks a lot.
Wow, this guy needs to stick to playing the guitar; everytime he opens his mouth, he comes across as a real d-bag. It is funny how he tries to come across as an intellectual. Dude’s just an a-hole that can play the guitar.
I gotta feeling Mayer is a huge pot head. Keep smoking John and making d-bag music!!!!
thats completely irrelevant!
Soooo this is coming from the guy who’s “waiting on the world to change..” I’ve been told change starts from within (or as MJ said the “Man in the mirror”)
Exactly what did John want to change? Why doesn’t he want to change himself?
Michael Jackson wrote the song “Man in the Mirror”. I think it was in 1988 long after MLK was assasinated.
Oops sorry. Please delete. I’m the d-bag for misreading your statement, The Lady. Sorry! Gee now I’m gonna get bashed as much as John Mayer is…..LOL.
Dear John Mayer, Please stick to writing songs, singing songs, and playing your guitar. P.S. You may want to think about hiring a new PR person…
i’m a PR person and I wouldn’t take him on as a client for anything….what a d-bag.